The #1 thing you can do right now for your well-being

Let yourself breathe.

As you’re reading this are you aware of your breath? Are you aware of your ribs moving? Are you aware of your breath moving through your body?

You might be subtly holding your breath without realizing it, like gently resting your foot on the brake pedal of a car, not so much that you overtly interfere with the car moving forward, not so much that you stop the car completely but enough that you’re interfering with it moving smoothly and well. That happens with your breath. You might be subtly interfering with your breath: just enough that your body isn’t getting fully nourished yet not so much that you’re not getting any air. You would notice a total lack of air for sure. And your body wouldn’t put up with that for long. It would force you to start breathing.

You need air to live. It’s another form of food for your body. When you’re stifling your breath without knowing it, it’s like starving your body. When you don’t get the air you need your stress goes up, anxiety goes up, depression goes up, negative feelings go up, energy goes down and drive goes down. Your whole being has to work much harder to get by on less than ideal conditions.

So what can you do? How do you know if you’re holding your breath? You might be asking that right now. You might be thinking, “I don’t feel like I’m holding my breath.” That might be the immediate thought. That conclusion depends on what terms you’re on with your breath and how good a friend you are with your breath. If you’re used to subtly holding your breath then you won’t automatically feel that holding, because it will just feel normal.

If you haven’t purposefully spent much time with your breath, noticing your breath, consciously breathing, then the quick answer might be: No, I don’t feel like I’m holding my breath. That answer is often built on a relationship of either/or: either you’re breathing or you’re not. Either you’re breathing or you’re completely holding your breath. There’s much more subtlety and nuance in your breath. Just because you’re not completely holding your breath doesn’t mean you’re breathing freely.

You can develop a better and deeper relationship with your breath. When you’re in situations when you need to breath, when you’re nervous or anxious or encounter unfamiliar circumstances, what do people say? Start breathing. Take a breath. If you’ve built a good relationship with your breath, that advice has a powerful effect. If you don’t have a dependable relationship with your breath, that advice has small returns.

Building a relationship with your breath is like building a relationship with a friend. When you put in the time and energy to build a strong relationship with a friend you’ll know they’ll be there to catch you when you fall. They’ll be there to support you and help you. They like helping you. Conversely, if you know someone who only calls you when they need something from you, who only calls when they need a favor or when they’re in dire straits, how do you start to feel about that person? You only hear from them every few months because they need a favor, that’s all. Might you be a little resentful, a little annoyed with them? It doesn’t feel like a balanced relationship. Maybe the next time they call you don’t want to do that favor for them, because that’s all they ever want. You might be treating your breath this way: only calling on it when you’re in dire straits, when you need a favor. If the only time you look at your breath is when you’re stressed or anxious or struggling then that’s the relationship you’ll be building: something struggling or difficult or tight.

It’s not too late! You can build a positive, strong relationship with your breath now! Start building it by telling yourself to let go of your breath, to let yourself breathe, to let your breath fully express itself. Whether or not you feellike you’re holding your breath is no longer the question. Tell yourself it’s ok to breathe regardless of what you think is happening in your breath. You’ll be surprised at what begins to happen. Over time you’ll notice you’re breathing more, which might seem strange because you didn’t know you weren’t breathing enough in the first place. But it will happen, you’ll start breathing more. After the fact you’ll realize how you were holding your breath before and you’ll know you’re on the path tobuilding a better relationship and more reliable friendship with your own breath. You’ll feel better. You’ll feel calmer, more at ease. And you’ll be doing yourself a good favor, feeding your body with the oxygen it needs.

Stop holding your breath. Let yourself breathe.