Your “Bad” Body, Your Good Body

What do you think about your body? Do you think about your body? If not, why not? You use your body all day, much more than you use a car or a bike, more than you use a computer. Your body is what allows you to do the things you enjoy. It’s worth thinking about.

When I ask students to tell me about themselves at some point they’ll almost invariably mention their “bad” body. They’ll refer to an area of their body they consider problematic or in pain, which they’d like to change. That’s understandable. Wouldn’t you too prefer less pain and instead more pleasure, more fun, more joy, more ease? Obstacles arise when you inherently label your body or parts of your body as “bad” or some corresponding synonym like “weak” or “wrong.” 

“I have a bad back.” 
“I have weak feet.” 

These are both attempts to describe fluid experiences by using static labels: bad back, weak feet. If you’ve experienced pain or discomfort in your body, labeling your body as weak or bad may sound reasonably logical but it can lead you down the path of believing that your body is inherentlyweak or bad. Labels are fixed while experiences are fluid. In other words, a bad body (or part) tends to stay bad. A body (or part) that experiences pain can change.

Why does using a static negative label make change more challenging? Imagine you are working with a child who is struggling with math in school and who is consistently getting low grades. You’d like them to improve. You’d lovefor them to improve and would gladly help. Yet the way you respond to that child for getting low grades, for struggling, is to tell them that they are bad at math. Each time they’re struggling and come to you for help you respond by reminding them that they are bad at math. When describing this child, you regularly mention their poor math skills while also wondering why they make little improvement. If you’re constantly reinforcing the idea to this child that they’re bad at math, can you see how much more difficult it will be for them to improve? If they’re already struggling why put another obstacle in their way? It’ll take a monumental effort for them to improve if you’re telling them they’re bad the whole time. Struggling doesn’t mean a child is bad at math, it means they’re struggling. Now substitute your body (or part) in place of the child. If you wouldn’t do this to a child, why do it to your body?

Why put even more obstacles in your life by speaking to and about your body as if it were bad? This doesn’t mean you ignore situations or experiences. Just as with the child, if they are struggling in school you don’t ignore it, but you also don’t start by labeling the child as bad. If you continue to hold onto and reinforce the idea that you have a bad body, back, foot, neck, spine, etc., that makes it even more difficult your body to change.

I teach how to use your body to its greatest potential and how to work with your body rather than against it. This thinking/labeling of the body (or parts) in negative ways gets in the way of your functioning. When I’m working with a person I can see and feel the tension and tightening that appears in them when they’re subscribing to this sneaky, insidious idea about their “bad” body. For instance, if I’m working with someone who is already experiencing pain in their back and they start talking about their “bad” back, more tension appears in their body, which contributes to the pain in their back. It’s a devious, self-reinforcing cycle. 

As I teach someone to become sensitive to these things themselves they’re always shocked to recognize the immediate, unpleasant physical sensations of their own thinking. They’re surprised they can literally feel the direct effects of their thinking in their musculature. Wonderfully, as they gain this awareness they’re less likely to continue on the same path because it doesn’t feel good and they’ve learned there’s a better option. 

So, the way you think about your body is important. The way you think about your body makes a difference in the experiences you have. What can you do? You can take some lessons in the Alexander Technique. You can be more nuanced and specific and gentle in understanding your experiences. You can let your experiences be momentary rather than static states of being. Rather than reinforcing the idea that you have a bad body you can acknowledge that you are experiencing pain in this moment or that you’ve experienced pain in the past. That doesn’t mean you have a bad body. You can have a good body that sometimes experiences discomfort or pain. 

If you think of your body or a part of your body in a negative way, stop for a moment. Do some personal research. Five times a day stop and check out what you’re experiencing right then. See if what you’re experiencing corresponds with how you think about yourself. Five times a day stop in different situations, not always when you’re standing or rushing around. Stop and do your own research on the state of your being. See if your beliefs about yourself are true. I bet you’ll find you have some old assumptions you can discard and that there is actually a lot of good going on. That’s a nice realization that welcomes in change. This might take time.

And I want to say, if anyone ever tells you you have a bad body, don’t believe them! They’re not talking about your whole self. They probably don’t even know how to talk about your whole self or even conceive of it. Give ‘em a nice fuck off in your head then laugh and smile…because you know better.