Follow up: it's ok

In case you read last week’s post: I’m ok.

This is why I do the work I do and why I offer it to others: to know, on a deep experiential level, that we’re ok. 

I spent much of my life believing I wasn’t ok. I believed I wasn’t ok physically, that I wasn’t ok emotionally, that I wasn’t ok mentally and that I wasn’t ok spiritually.

I so appreciate this work that has brought me out of those beliefs again and again. And I appreciate the opportunity to offer it to others.

I practice this work when I’m not in a crisis so that I can benefit from it when I’m in a crisis, like last week. Even though I had an anxiety attack, it didn’t control me completely. That freedom was from my practice.

The day after that experience I set aside specific time to bring consciousness to those moments of anxiety, to see those moments through the lenses of compassion, curiosity and expansion.

Doing this feels like untying knots in my body and mind.

It’s a relief to not have to continue to carry the effects of last week. The body remembers and it would continue to hold that anxiety attack in some way if I didn’t address it.

And that’s also why I appreciate this work. We don’t have to keep carrying stress, punishment, and pain in the body and mind. And we don’t have to address it when it arises. If we can address it in the moment then we can; but if we can’t then that’s ok. We’re not stuck with it. And we’re not stuck with the repercussions. We can look at it when we’re able to, in a space that’s safe to do so. It’s never too late.

Does this mean it won’t happen again? No. I’m smiling as I write this. It’s tempting to approach this work believing that if we do enough, if we improve enough, if we meditate enough, if we work on ourselves enough, that we can prevent pain, anxiety and fear from ever returning. Essentially that’s trying to guarantee control of the future. Trying to control the future in this way contributes to fear and anxiety. The body lets us know. I feel it as an uncomfortable twist in my gut when I try to control the future this way. That’s my body’s way of telling me I’m on the wrong path. How does it show up in your body?

What’s stuck in your body? In your life, what would like the light of compassion, curiosity and expansion? I’m here to help, if that would useful for you.